I’d call it a lesson learned.

It’s been a long, long time since I’ve blogged. Jenna asked me if I was still blogging and to get my act together and do something. Right now, I’m down at the shore for the last time this summer. I’m bummed about that. This summer is the first one in years that I haven’t spent the entire month of August down here, and a week seems like a big fat tease. However, I think I have a third degree burn on my back, so I made up for lost time by paying big homage to the Sun Gods.

On Monday, I got interviewed with my brother for an ESPN segment on Dad that will be airing in January. I was told I talked too much. But in my opinion that just means that Michael didn’t talk enough. 🙂 And I wanted to correct him for stating that they name him as Mike. His birth name is Michael for gosh sakes. I did get to tell the story about Dad beaning me in the crotch with a softball in eighth grade and Michael smacking me in the head with his glove. That made me so, so happy. Also, as far as closeness, I’m more in line with my sister, so it was wonderful to get to sit with my brother for a little while and hear his thoughts and opinions in coherent sentences, rather than a series of grunts and clicks like usual.
Speaking of my brother, we’re having his coach, Phil Martelli, and his family over for dinner tonight at the house, complete with my Nonna’s coffee cake trifle thing. My brother-in-law named it Heaven-misu, because it’s like tiramisu but SO MUCH BETTER. It’s social tea cookies instead of ladyfingers dipped in coffee and layered with cream cheese. Amazing.
I got my first hair appointment in the city last week. Disastrous! A man named Cobra with a thick Spanish accent (“HHoney, if you do hhighlights on top of your original color you will have tree colors instead-a two!”) gave me ash-black hair and zebra stripes when I wanted to go golden blonde. For 200 dollars, I went in with a Mary-Kate Olsen, Sienna Miller dream and came out with a Kate Gosselin, Kelly Clarkson circa 2002 reality. I immediately took the 2 train home to a 24 hour Duane Reade and purchased a 10 dollar bottle of red dye, and at 1AM i finally finished covering up the work of Senor Cobra. Now my hair is a reddish blonde that suits me very nicely (a friend of my mother’s who is a hairdresser called it a ‘sexy red’. Yay!). But there is a lesson to be learned: If you feel like Bridget Jones in the Edge of Reason scene where she thinks she’s going to be fabulous and then she sees herself and it changes to “I am totally F—-d”? That was me. I showed my best NYC friend, Chelsea, the results of Cobra’s work and her only response was “…Yeah. That’s not working.”
Since it’s almost the end of the summer, I thought I would give out a little list of The Things Ally Has Learned in the Summer of 2009. Both trivial and non, it contains all of the information that came to me, new and intriguing.
1. I can plow through pounds of phyllo dough and cake and spaghetti bolognese and biriyani and roast chicken and chocolate cake and Nutella and semifreddo every single Tuesday night at Angelina’s Experimental Food Night dinners, and still lose 15 pounds.
2. When your father asks you to download Lady GaGa and Katy Perry for his iPod, do not ask questions and just do it. And when you find out he has Kings of Leon already on said iPod, just nod.
3. I do not look good in anything that starts with the word ‘romper’. I resemble a stuffed sausage.
4. Going home again is not the worst thing in the world. You may find everything you were ever looking for.
5. Pinkberry and Red Mango are the greatest foods ever invented.
6. With The Lite Choice a close second.
7. Tofu Shirataki Noodles are just as good as regular noodles.
8. Urban Outfitters, J.Crew, J Brand Jeans, and Forever 21 were created to take all of my money.

9. Feeling like a mouse on a treadmill is no way to live your life.
10. Finding a lot of amazing dinner ideas: good. Realizing that you cannot cook them in your kitchen as the only thing that fits on your stove is one pan at a time: bad.
11. I am really, really, really good at roasting chicken.
12. I am never as happy as when I’m with my family. They are truly everything to me and living so far away saps my soul.
13. Live your life with passion. Don’t hide because you think you aren’t good enough.
14. If something is causing you grief, don’t do it.
15. If your hairstylist is named Cobra and thinks you should dye your hair to match your eyebrows, SAY NO.
16. Jeanine deserved to win So You Think You Can Dance. She danced with a passion and ferocity that overcame Brandon’s obvious incredible talent.
17. The Biggest Loser inspired me to want to become a physical trainer.
18. Given an hour, I will watch The Food Network. Or read about recipes. Or do something food related. Or go to the gym and work off food I just ate.
19. I’ve eaten so many cherries this summer I think I’m sprouting them.
20. If you wake up and think about your career and get a pit in the center of your stomach and a sick, sinking feeling? That is your clue from God to get the hell out!
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