don’t mess with the shaq-tus

Another quiet night at home.  The snow has settled down to a low roar (although the thunder earlier? With the lightening? I thought the world was about to end), the Amy’s Kitchen Tomato Soup I just ate is settling in nicely, and the wind is howling at my door.
I’m currently fighting off a sore throat/sinus combination that will either be nothing at all or H1N1.  My plan to nip this in the bud is simple: subsist on soup, steamed kale, and fruit, and hole up in bed reading the cadre of magazines that have suddenly piled up for the month of February.  Rehearsal was cancelled so I relished my night off with fluff literature.  So far I’ve managed to get through Elle, Self, and Glamour.  Somewhere, my copies of Dickens and Chaucer are crying in their jackets, begging me to read them.  When I’m sick, I can’t pay attention to elaborate plot devices and eloquent literary theory.  I want pretty pictures and I want them now.
Starting to believe that any form of illness automatically turns me into Veruca Salt.  C’est la vie.
If you get Sports Illustrated, chances are you saw the article this week about whether or not our dominance is good for the sport.  Some say it’s not.  I say ‘hell yes it is!’ My opinion is that the other teams in our league (and across Division 1) should see our work ethic, our commitment to excellence, and our determination, and step up their game.  Rise up to meet our level.  Or else prepare for an epic beatdown.  We haven’t had the number one recruiting class since Maya’s came in.  Since then, most of the highly touted players have gone to other schools.  Good players, yes, but it takes a coach of superior ability and skill to make good players great.  We even lost the number one player out of highschool, remember.  We are unstoppable because we have a great team, not great individual players (although we have that as well).  We are in the top ten in team stats, not individual stats.  Individuality does not exist here.  One team, one effort, one championship.
Aside from laying in bed and destroying my brain all day with mindnumbing descriptions of Spring/Summer Fashion Week (although the McQueen SS2010 collection is TO DIE FOR), I also went grocery shopping today at that most holy of food stores, Whole Foods.  Yes, I know their CEO is a douche who doesn’t believe in health care reform.  But dammit my local grocery does not keep the entirety of Amy’s Kitchen products in stock, so I must trek to Glastonbury and get my fill from the  Whole Foods there.  
I sincerely hope all of my readers have had the incandescent pleasure of stepping inside a Whole Foods Market.  I took Nonna there a few weeks ago and I thought she was going to have a stroke.  I try to get something different every single time I go, and this time I went a bit bananas.  What DIDN’T I get should have been the right question.  I got organic ice cream, vegan burritos, Icelandic strained yogurt (or as they call it, skyr), rice milk, red and green kale, and pounds upon pounds of wild cod and chicken.  I also bit the bullet and bought some bison burgers (wow, I win at life for my alliterative phrasing).  Ever since I started work at Mohegan I’ve been craving a good oldfashioned burger, but I don’t eat steak or cow’s beef anymore.  Enter the mighty bison to solve all of my problems for me! It’s going to be a feast on the level of Dances With Wolves…however, there shall be zero consumption of bison tongue a la Kevin Costner.  Gross.
I have worked out a grand total of twice this week.  I have zero problem with this, seeing as I’m sick and I want my body to recover, plus tomorrow I’ll have to get up early anyway to work out before my job begins at noon.  Ah, Mohegan Sun.  How you mess with my internal clock…
ps.  i’m aware this post was pretty pointless.  

Published by The Curious Ally Cat

I'm a 34 year old adjunct professor and writer in Connecticut. People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late.

4 thoughts on “don’t mess with the shaq-tus

  1. Have you heard about John Mackey's latest douchebaggery? He's offering steeper discounts to employees with the lowest BMIs. W.T.F. Considering your recent post, I thought you might have an opinion on that one.

    I was still drinking the Whole Foods kool-aid until I read about this yesterday. It's Trader Joe's or nothing for me now. (I tried to paste the link, but can't in comments. Google “Whole Foods BMI” and the article will pop right up.)


  2. I also love Whole Foods. You might want to try a pint or two….or three….of Purely Decadent coconut milk ice cream. Tastes great and very healthy. Grass-fed beef is good for you, too, and humanely raised. Might want to try the ground and enjoy your burgers!
    Sorry you're under the weather. With all your natural health knowledge, seems you're not familiar with homeopathics???


  3. Ally,

    I will cut you slack because you are sick. But you have to get back on the NO wholefoods bandwagon till Health Care reform passes. Come to think of it – it makes more sense to boycott them while you are sick.

    I hope you feel better soon, I really enjoyed your nonsensical piece


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