What I Will Never Understand (And What I Know For Sure)

This isn’t an entry, so much as a list.  I thought of this list the other day, during a lunch break from my new job as assistant/line coach/acting teacher at the Children’s Associated Summer Theater, the theater I grew up in, the first theater I was ever part of.  I never thought I’d come back on the other side of the table, to teach to the children I once felt a kinship with.  But here we are.  It just goes to show you that life is never what you think.

So on this, the last day of June, 2010, I present to you…

What I Will Never Understand
1. Twilight.   But then, you all can read my expanded thoughts on that series here.
2. How people can wear pajama pants to a casino.  I can understand wearing them to pick up groceries, to drop mail off, even to pick your kids up at a bus stop.  But when you’re in a public forum containing restaurants by sports figures and Bobby Flay, do us all a favor and wear pants with a zipper.  Preferably pants that fit.  Speaking of pants that fit…
3. I will never understand people who wear their pants three sizes too small.  Is it a vanity thing, or do you just prefer to feel like an exploding sausage casing?  It makes my stomach hurt just looking at these people.
4. The Arizona Immigration ruling.  Say what you want, I try not to get into politics on this blog.  But you can’t tell me this isn’t racist, or legal.
5. Prop 8.  Or rather, Prop H8te.
6. The Holocaust.  How could one man cause the murders of 6 million Jews, Gypsies, homosexuals, Catholics, and underground Resistors? I hope he is slowly simmering on a spit in the deepest depths of hellfire.
7. The appeal of Paris Hilton, Megan Fox, Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt, the entire cast of Jersey Shore (particularly Snooki…she’s a midget-sized STD), and Entourage.  Aside from Ari Gold, that is.  He’s hilarious.
8. Yellowface in Hollywood cinema, particularly in The Last Airbender.  It’s disgusting.
9. People who never learned how to spell correctly online (I literally can’t understand you).  If you punctuate your sentences with abbreviations that I need to decode with a Little Orphan Annie Secret Signal, you’ve gone too far.
10.  The KFC Double-Down.  My brother swears it’s delicious.  I get angina just looking at pictures of this thing.  Don’t even get me started on the new Grilled Cheese Burger Supreme Thing Of Gross from Friendly’s.  My eyes.  My heart.  My arteries.  My life.
11. People who seem oblivious to their unhealthy habits and are unwilling to change.
12. Yoga haters.  I think they’re just afraid of it.
13. People who thought there were too many endings in Return of the King.  ALL OF THEM WERE NEEDED, THANKS.  FRODO LIVES.
14. When inherently messed-up people try to fix other people.  Fix yourself first.
15. Camel Toe.  Just NO.  Doesn’t that hurt?!
16. High heeled sneakers.  Unless you’re competing in the Tranny Olympics.
17. The Tea Party.
18. People who bounce from relationship to relationship without stopping to consider what is causing their relationships to fail in the first place.

What I Know For Sure.
1. My family is the most important thing to me.
2. If you gave me the choice between sitting on the porch, reading a good book or magazine, with a cup of iced coffee, or out at a bar, I’m going to pick the book.  I’ll pick the book/magazine over most activities.
3. My body is beautiful, but not nearly as radiant as my soul.
4. I was born to make people smile, in whatever capacity I can.
5. Dessert after dinner is mandatory.
6. Fearing what you don’t understand is unhealthy.  Embrace it and walk towards it with curiosity and joy.
7. Abusing food is not nearly as fun as enjoying food.
8. Happiness can only be obtained when you truly value what you have to give.
9. Love doesn’t hurt.  Love feels good.
10. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. – Maya Angelou
11. If you see someone you feel is attractive, find them attractive on their own merits, not in comparison with your own supposed failings.
12. Golf is interminably boring to me, and I will never find it exciting no matter how many hours of it my father forces me to watch.
13. When the beach waters are rolling hard on the shore, I will always think of Ariel washing up on the beach with Prince Eric.
14. I might never fully conquer ‘crow pose’.  And that’s all right.
15. There’s no better cure for a hangover than a glass of water and a multivitamin before bed.
16. C.A.S.T. is the greatest summer community theater in Connecticut, and I am so honored and thrilled to work there (and this year marks my 20th anniversary of the first production I ever did with them, and it’s the same show we’re doing this year).
17. Everyone should be with a partner who appreciates them and loves them for exactly what they are, and does not attempt to change them.
18. Meditation and incorporation of my pagan beliefs have helped calm me tremendously in times of extreme stress.  Celebrating the Sabbats has given me such joy throughout this entire year, and I’m so grateful I found this new way to express my faith.

The last thing I know for sure?

Love is everywhere.  If you look for it.

if you look for it…and can find it…


Published by The Curious Ally Cat

I'm a 34 year old adjunct professor and writer in Connecticut. People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late.

One thought on “What I Will Never Understand (And What I Know For Sure)

  1. Hi Ally – i have always meant to post to your blog since I have followed for over a year now unofficially. And now you have inspired me to start my own blog, so thank you for sharing your world and being candid. And since I don't want to be totally weird, I started following b/c I use to play bball at Providence and got my ass kicked my your dad's team, but I began to admire him more the past couple years after the effects of our butts getting spanked wore off…:-)
    check me out if you can as well:


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