I want to talk to you about comfort.
Not the kind you pull into a drive-thru to get. Not the kind you stuff into your mouth at the end of a day because it’s late and you’re cranky and there’s nothing else to get your mitts onto fast enough. Not that kind of comfort food.
The comfort food that speaks deeply, the kind that resonates with your soul. The kind that satisfies you on every level, almost to a cellular degree. That kind of comfort.
When you’re standing in your pantry practically licking up the crumbs from the chocolate chip bag, that is not comfort, or eating for pleasure.
The past few weeks have been incredibly stressful. I won’t lie. There’s a reason I’ve been away from the blog for a month and a half, and I wish I had some bitchin’ pictures of food to show you. But I don’t. I wish I could say I’ve been a model of eating perfection. But my lunch today was a granola bar, seaweed snacks, some red pepper veggie bites, and a Bartlett pear. It was eaten in the car. Not the best thing, but when I’m in the library or in a seminar class the last thing I can do is pull out an entire massaged kale salad. Distracting, much?
When I get stressed out, I feel the urge to slide back into some very, very bad habits. I felt that slide over the past two weeks, and some disordered thoughts and patterns crept back into my life, like little silent snipers pointed at my temples. Over the course of a few days, those patterns nearly pulled their trigger.
I’ve been doing a TON of yoga to counteract this feeling, and I can feel it starting to have an effect, but I can still feel my brain running at high speed. My yoga teacher came up to me during svasana and rubbed my temples, whispering “Get out of your head, girl.” And she was right, of course. I need to stop thinking about everything so much, and just do.
I need comfort.
So, I’ve been cooking a lot more lately. Lots of quick, but hopefully nourishing meals. A LOT of pumpkin has been consumed so far this year. The yellow tinge has returned to my hands and I really don’t care. Pumpkin is binged on for two months and then it has a fond farewell.
Why? When I make my food, I don’t make it to take a picture of it. I make it so it goes into my belly in a pleasing fashion to my palate. I’ve been making quite a lot of delicious things lately, so know that they exist. But I don’t need a camera to manifest them for you. When I’m stressed my appetite goes away, but I don’t let that trick me into thinking I don’t need a lunch or a dinner. I eat when I know my body needs more fuel. Sometimes that means a bigger eating day and sometimes that doesn’t. Bottom line: If I’m hungry, I try to eat. I try to make food a pleasing ritual, something I sit down to and enjoy. It’s hard to do this at lunchtime, however breakfast and dinner are my time to sit and relax.
The only workouts i have time for are running and yoga. I haven’t done a weights session in about a month, so i’m figuring once I get back on the Jackie Warner wagon I am in for a world of hurt. It was fun having really jacked arm muscles while it lasted!
Running has been really fun for me now that I’m not training for anything. I feel so much more free and easy when I run. Lately I’ve been averaging about 5-6.5 mile runs about 2 times a week, and the rest of the week is devoted to hot yoga and VERY light cardio. However, the cardio has gotten a bit longer, and that isn’t good either.
So trust me, I will have content soon. Content about the following things:
1. Why I stopped being vegan or even vegetarian.
2. Running for fun vs. running for a race
3. The simplest tomato soup recipe you will ever need
4. Vegan and gluten free banana chocolate chip muffins.
5. Recipe for pumpkin-cranberry oat bran porridge. Yeah. That happened.
6. More yoga posts! Whee!
I will dedicate myself to posting at least once a week on here and on my other blog. They are wonderful outlets for me. Join me?