You should date a woman.
Don’t date a girl. Even if she reads.
Date a woman.
You’ll meet wherever she ends up. Library, sports game, doesn’t matter. She’ll find you.
Date a woman who has a great laugh, but doesn’t use it recklessly. She laughs when something is deeply amusing, not to impress a man who is attempting humor.
Date a woman who doesn’t date a lot because she was waiting for a guy who matched her and could go toe to toe. She might be waiting for you. Don’t let her get away.
Date a woman who reads everything. EVERYTHING. Magazines, journals, newspapers (although she may read them online, or on her phone, don’t hold that against her), stop signs, Neil Gaiman, David Foster Wallace, Foucault, Perez Hilton, George R.R. Martin, J.R.R. Tolkien, chick lit, JK Rowling, fashion blogs, Derrida. She reads a lot, because she loves it, and she’s read a lot of very intense and intelligent books that most bookish girls with a love of literature have read – Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Umberto Eco, The Little Prince, Satanic Verses. But she’s got worn-out copies of Glamour and Marie Claire magazines on her nightstand, piled on top of her Norton Anthologies and Complete Works of W.B. Yeats. If you ask her what her favorite poem is, she’ll look at you like you’ve asked her to lasso the moon, but you’ll see the passion in her face as she describes how underappreciated Pablo Neruda is and how intricate Petrarchan sonnets are. She may not have the vocabulary readily available in her brain, but she has wells of deep memory.
Date a woman who reads Harry Potter. Because it’s awesome. Obviously.
Date a woman who can bitch about her gyms’ locker room on Twitter and follow that up with a Tweet about her seminar paper on pedagogy and composition.
Date a woman who likes sweatpants and sequins in equal measure.
Date a woman who knows what’s going on in the world politically but isn’t afraid to ask questions about things she doesn’t quite understand, because she doesn’t want to formulate an opinion until she’s got all the facts. Date a woman who thinks deeply and critically.
Date a woman who has a lot of cookbooks but also knows how to scramble eggs for dinner. In addition, date a woman who knows how to roast vegetables, can tell a steak is done without sawing it down the middle, and knows her way around a wine menu. Also date a woman who has ethnic take-out on her speed dial, and really, really, REALLY loves Subway’s $5 Footlong.
Date a woman who dabbles in the esoteric but also wears deodorant.
Date a woman who watches watches Community, Modern Family, and a few niche shows like It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia or Archer but she also DVRs The Biggest Loser and Doctor Who, and occasionally she may tune into The X Factor to make fun of Paula Abdul. She currently likes The Voice, and not just because Adam Levine is hot.
Date a woman who loves the Olympics because it’s an excuse to watch gymnastics for two straight weeks.
Date a woman who questions religion, government, politics, and sexual misogyny in advertising.
Date a woman who watches films like 500 Days of Summer and Little Miss Sunshine and Ghost World, but could still recite Mean Girls from memory. (“Oh my God, Danny DeVito! I love your work!”)
Date a woman who isn’t afraid to call women (and men) out on their bullshit.
Date a woman who thinks Twilight is an anti-feminist, pro-abstinence hot mess.
Date a woman who has manic pixie dream girl tendencies, but didn’t grow up into a manic pixie woman, because women are more complicated than a quirky sidelong glance.
Date a woman who can laugh at herself about accidentally wearing mismatched socks, but never undercuts her opinion on every day issues with a self-deprecating joke about how she’s a stupid girl who doesn’t really know anything. Because she’s not a girl.
She’s a woman.
She owns her intelligence and wields it like a sword. A Hattonzi Samurai Sword.
I am a woman.
I will not apologize for thinking critically. I will not apologize for demanding the right to do what I want with my uterus. I will not apologize for hoping all of my friends, no matter their sexual orientation, can experience the rights that I enjoy. I will not apologize for refusing to follow trends. I will not apologize for collecting weird things like movie stubs. I will not apologize for doing yoga nearly every single day. I will not apologize for speaking my mind about issues I find salient to the survival of critical conversation.
Be brave. Be different. Be confident. Be funny. Be smart. Be sexual. (Earmuffs, Mom and Dad)
Be a woman.
Happy International Women’s Day.