International Women’s Day.

You should date a woman.
Don’t date a girl.  Even if she reads.
Date a woman.  
You’ll meet wherever she ends up.  Library, sports game, doesn’t matter.  She’ll find you.
Date a woman who has a great laugh, but doesn’t use it recklessly.  She laughs when something is deeply amusing, not to impress a man who is attempting humor.
Date a woman who doesn’t date a lot because she was waiting for a guy who matched her and could go toe to toe. She might be waiting for you.  Don’t let her get away.
Date a woman who reads everything.  EVERYTHING.  Magazines, journals, newspapers (although she may read them online, or on her phone, don’t hold that against her), stop signs, Neil Gaiman, David Foster Wallace, Foucault, Perez Hilton, George R.R. Martin, J.R.R. Tolkien, chick lit, JK Rowling, fashion blogs, Derrida.  She reads a lot, because she loves it, and she’s read a lot of very intense and intelligent books that most bookish girls with a love of literature have read – Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Umberto Eco, The Little Prince, Satanic Verses.  But she’s got worn-out copies of Glamour and Marie Claire magazines on her nightstand, piled on top of her Norton Anthologies and Complete Works of W.B. Yeats.  If you ask her what her favorite poem is, she’ll look at you like you’ve asked her to lasso the moon, but you’ll see the passion in her face as she describes how underappreciated Pablo Neruda is and how intricate Petrarchan sonnets are.  She may not have the vocabulary readily available in her brain, but she has wells of deep memory.

Date a woman who reads Harry Potter.  Because it’s awesome.  Obviously.
Date a woman who can bitch about her gyms’ locker room on Twitter and follow that up with a Tweet about her seminar paper on pedagogy and composition.
Date a woman who likes sweatpants and sequins in equal measure.
Date a woman who knows what’s going on in the world politically but isn’t afraid to ask questions about things she doesn’t quite understand, because she doesn’t want to formulate an opinion until she’s got all the facts.  Date a woman who thinks deeply and critically.
Date a woman who has a lot of cookbooks but also knows how to scramble eggs for dinner.  In addition, date a woman who knows how to roast vegetables, can tell a steak is done without sawing it down the middle, and knows her way around a wine menu.  Also date a woman who has ethnic take-out on her speed dial, and really, really, REALLY loves Subway’s $5 Footlong.
Date a woman who dabbles in the esoteric but also wears deodorant.
Date a woman who watches watches Community, Modern Family, and a few niche shows like It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia or Archer but she also DVRs The Biggest Loser and Doctor Who, and occasionally she may tune into The X Factor to make fun of Paula Abdul.  She currently likes The Voice, and not just because Adam Levine is hot.  
Date a woman who loves the Olympics because it’s an excuse to watch gymnastics for two straight weeks.
Date a woman who questions religion, government, politics, and sexual misogyny in advertising.
Date a woman who watches films like 500 Days of Summer and Little Miss Sunshine and Ghost World, but could still recite Mean Girls from memory.  (“Oh my God, Danny DeVito! I love your work!”)
Date a woman who isn’t afraid to call women (and men) out on their bullshit.
Date a woman who thinks Twilight is an anti-feminist, pro-abstinence hot mess.
Date a woman who has manic pixie dream girl tendencies, but didn’t grow up into a manic pixie woman, because women are more complicated than a quirky sidelong glance.
Date a woman who can laugh at herself about accidentally wearing mismatched socks, but never undercuts her opinion on every day issues with a self-deprecating joke about how she’s a stupid girl who doesn’t really know anything.  Because she’s not a girl.
She’s a woman.
She owns her intelligence and wields it like a sword.  A Hattonzi Samurai Sword.
I am a woman.
I will not apologize for thinking critically.  I will not apologize for demanding the right to do what I want with my uterus.  I will not apologize for hoping all of my friends, no matter their sexual orientation, can experience the rights that I enjoy.  I will not apologize for refusing to follow trends.  I will not apologize for collecting weird things like movie stubs.  I will not apologize for doing yoga nearly every single day.  I will not apologize for speaking my mind about issues I find salient to the survival of critical conversation.
Be brave.  Be different.  Be confident.  Be funny.  Be smart.  Be sexual. (Earmuffs, Mom and Dad)
Be a woman.
Be everything.
Happy International Women’s Day.
ally
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8 thoughts on “International Women’s Day.

  1. Thank you! Yesterday I told my guys at work that it's the Internation Woman Day. Nobody knew about it, even that it was establish in USA. I'm from Poland and there it's a big day for woman. I'm happy to be one, too.

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  2. So all men should date you? You pretty much described yourself in this post and then said to date her. You seem to be very full of yourself and think 'its your way or the highway'. As you get older, you will see that your point of view isn't always the correct one even though you believe what you believe. Please stop making people feel wrong for their beliefs just because you don't share them. As I've aged, I have come to see both sides of a situation and try and see the other person's point of view. I wish that for you because clearly you have not lived enough or experienced enough to really understand. I enjoy your quirkiness and hearing what you think, even though I don't always agree with you, I, unlike you, try to keep an open mind and don't automatically hate someone because they disagree with me. Someday you will reread your posts and know what I'm saying.

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  3. I really wish I had your information, so I could email you in private, but I guess this is the next best thing.

    This post isn't about me, really, although I share in the sentiments of many of these points. I actually culled many of these opinions from several of my friends, most of which were in response to two very popular Internet Memes, “You Should Date An Illiterate Girl” and “You Should Date A Girl Who Reads”. My post is in response to the idea that women can be shoved into separate binaries and remain there, locked into stasis.

    My blog is simply that: my blog. It is an outlet for me to express my own opinions and to work through my thoughts and emotions. Much of myself doesn't get into the blog, which I don't talk about very often, but I can assure you I'm not asking for anyone to date me. I'm in a very fulfilling relationship at the moment, so this isn't a dating advertisement.

    My point of view is never the correct one. It is a point of view, and it is my point of view. Just as you call for me to live more, I call for you to perhaps lower your judgement of someone who is simply writing on the Internet, not asking for an Almighty judgment from someone anonymous. If I made you feel wrong for your opinions, then I truly apologize, but don't tell me I'm 'full of myself' when this is but a fraction of who I really am.

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  4. Secondly, I would be loathe to think it would be 'my way or the highway' in life. If that were to be my MO, my family would bitchsmack me back down to earth quite quickly.

    I hope that clarifies any discomfort or issues you may have with me, my blog, or the opinions I express. But it saddens me that anyone would take my celebration of women on International Women's Day as a solipsistic declaration of my own badassery, or anything like that. I'm just honoring women, and I'm sad that didn't come across more fully.

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  5. I apologize for sounding bitchy at the start of my reply. It was meant to be a 'smart aleck' comment and fell flat. I applaud you for being yourself and being proud of that. Many women twice your age still can't do that. I too wish more men looked for women who are not the cookie cutter image of what society has thrust on us. I want my children to find love wherever it makes them happy. I hope they stay true to themselves always. I guess sometimes when I read your blog, which by the way, isn't a diary so you should be able to take criticism if you put it 'out there', I feel like you are critical of people who don't share your views and I thought I'd reply. Honestly, I try to read blogs from varying viewpoints so I don't get too 'stuck in my ways' and I find your thoughts to challenge me, at times…mostly! My comments weren't meant to bash you, I apologize if they came across that way.

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  6. I think that you are also quirky and interesting and have something valuable to say. But I also read this and basically thought it was a tribute to yourself. When you write a post that advises to marry this kind of woman, you imply (and even overtly say) that the other kind is one that should not be married, or is somehow not as worthy. Women come in so many shapes, sizes, and eccentricities- figuratively and literally. And while I think that you know this intuitively (it seems to come across in much of your writing at least), I think that perhaps your youth or inexperience serves as a filter. I hope that makes sense. You are still young, granted, and you will likely see things very differently as you get older. I don't mean to be super critical, this is your space and you can choose to use it as you see fit (and I appreciate how you use it, in all honesty). I just thought there was some truth to the original criticism (some). I'm just glad that there isn't a public record of some of my thoughts and ideological determinations from my twenties. Actually, we should all be glad of it.

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  7. Correction, I should have said “date” and not “marry” in my prior comment. Eek, you certainly never said anyone should marry anyone.

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  8. Thank you for your very thorough responses.

    I think a lot of this could have been a reaction to what I personally have experienced as a woman rejected by men in the past; most men I have dated (with the definite exception of my current relationship) have been unaccepting of various aspects of my personality that I thought were interesting, or worthy of appreciation (such as the books I like the read or the movies I like, or the sports teams I root for). It started to get me sort of mad simply because I was confused about the types of 'women' that seem to be the conditioned desire put out there by the media. In my most recent entry, I go further into detail about these binaries as a conditioning motive by the media; as a new film (Miss)Representation bluntly, “You can't be what you don't see.” I wish more representations of women were out there but this entry is just from my own experiences as well as those of my friends. Any woman, regardless of who she is or what she does or what she likes, is worthy of love and respect in every facet of their life, and the media should recognize more aspects of womanhood than the binaries laid out in ad campaigns.

    I hope that clears it up some more. 🙂 And I definitely agree, I'm young and still learning, but I won't self-edit my entries. That's just so Big Brother. I want these entries to be a representation of what I thought at a certain time. Indeed, I cringe when I see the posts I made a few years ago!

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