Things You Know About If I Were Tweeting, Numero Dos.

You get me back in your Twitter boxes in a little over one weeks’ time.  Can you handle it? I certainly can’t.  This weekend is the weekend in which I should be invading your Smartphones with flail and witty repartee over both the mens and womens’ Final Fours.  As much as I would like to tell you that I’m in Denver, celebrating/relaxing with my family and enjoying the 80 degree weather…that is simply not the case.

I’m in Connecticut, freezing my nonexistent nards off, grading student papers and doing research for my seminar papers.  Because I’m an adult.

It kind of sucks, because every other member of my family, including my nephew who has just now begun to parse the difference between ‘outside’ and ‘inside’, is heading out to Colorado right now to take in the city and go to the games, and I’m sitting here being all…responsible and…changing the aesthetic landscape and…stuff.  But at the same time I know I’m just saving myself up for next year, when the women’s Final Four will be in…New Orleans.  I’m getting a headache just thinking about it. 

So, without further adieu, here are some thoughts that have been swirling in my head over the past few days that you probably would have gotten from a Tweet or two, were I Tweeting.

1.  School is school.  So far I have plugged along rather admirably on two projects: an assessment of the personal power through privatization in the works of Emily Dickinson and an analysis of the comic Calvin and Hobbes using Lacan’s “Mirror Stage” and “Big Other” theories.  I’m loving both of them, but I’m especially ecstatic to know that because I won the race to submit Freshman English teaching preference sheets, I’ll most likely get an English 1011 course next semester (read: FICTION!).  The ideas are swirling in my head like boomerangs and I cannot wait to get started.  I’ve already started pulling together sources for Scott Pilgrim and Daria.  Either that, or I might even structure my entire class around Adaptation Theory and use Norse Myths in tandem with the film Thor.  I don’t even know what my brain is doing anymore.  Four more weeks and I can sleep/get tan/swim.
2.  I haven’t seen my dad in 3 weeks.  Indeed, I think I’ve seen him a total of 4 times in 2012 for a sum total of about 4 hours; the majority of that time was during one dinner that culminated in us yelling at each other that we have to spend more time together.  This is a coach’s daughter in post-season play when she actually has a life and isn’t following the team around like a sycophant.  The closest I got was Thursday, when I came over to the house to see him and Mom off on their trip and ended up helping my mom spray out a ton of ants that had managed to sneak into our house and under a few rugs.  “Clorox kills them faster than Windex”, she grunted as I pulled up rug after rug.  Glamourous.  Unfortunately, I had to leave before Dad got to the house (he was running late and I had to get my butt to class) but Dad, I know you read this, so….I MISS YOU. I LOVE YOU. GOOD LUCK.
3. I read the Pat Jordan article on Deadspin (go Google it) and was alternately amused and appalled.  Amused at how Jordan’s narrative of our family was whittled down into a wooden carving of Italianate stereotypes in a profane haze of cigars, pretty wives, and fast cars.  “Does this look like the office of a f*cking egomaniac?’ Nope, but it sure looks like the narrative structure of one.  Dad didn’t exactly put himself off too well himself, however.  At one point I had to flick my eyes up to the article headline to make sure I wasn’t reading an expose of Joe Pesci.  And Dad, if you’re reading this…if you drop one more F-bomb, I will find absolutely nothing wrong with raining them down the instant I get back on Twitter.  There will be F-ck.  In ABUNDANCE.  (Also, there are pictures of my Dad in his office.  They just happen to revolve around family occasions.)  Sadly, he’s correct about the book.  That’s what you get for letting your 19 year old theater major daughter proofread the rough drafts.  Whoops?
3. So far I’ve gotten that my hair makes me look like Natalie Portman, Monera Baccarin (the alien from V), Drew Barrymore, Jackie Warner (the trainer from Work Out), Audrey Hepburn, Anne Hathaway, Keira Knightley, Rachel Maddow…and David Tennant.  Keep in mind, the David Tennant comparison came at a Captain America Re-Watch Party.  I was wearing my hair in a mohawk and rocking an “Avengers Assemble!” tshirt.
4. My workouts of late have started to reincorporate running simply because hello? Apocalypses make for the BEST running weather patterns.  Lately, however, I’ve been so stressed and tired that I just want to flop around on an elliptical for 60 minutes and call it a day.  Plus it’s easier to read student papers or my own studying paraphernalia while on a stationary machine.  I’ve also been desperate to get more yoga into my life, and this week I’ll have practiced 3 times which is more than I could have hoped, but I also wanted to get some more routines into my exercise.  Lately I’ve been into Jillian Michaels’ Six Week Six Pack, but I doubt the amount of chocolate and wine I’m drinking is going to make that possible….
5. I feel really bad for Kim Mulkey.  Bells’ Palsy is absolutely terrible and I hope she recovers quickly.  However, this might be a blessing in disguise…I’m thinking she’ll wear something SUPAFLY to direct any and all attention away from the palsy.  Can we get #kimmulkeysjacket trending again? That was the best trending topic ever.
6. Hunger Games. Oh my SHIT, you guys.  I am completely and utterly obsessed.  I didn’t want to get into this series for the longest time because, hello, it’s for little kids (says the Children’s Literature student…*cough*) and the people who were recommending it to me were people who also loved Twilight.  Naturally I didn’t trust their judgment.  But then my sister read it and loved it.  And then I saw the trailer and got chills all over my body for about an hour.  THEN I found out it was based on a Greek myth.  So…I had to.  It’s fantastic and very smartly paced.  And anybody who calls it a Battle Royale retread isn’t reading closely.  There are many, many differences to this tale, and I find it more engrossing than Battle Royale because of the ‘preparation’ and ‘glamor’ they associate with the Games themselves.  It’s a celebrity title you’re afforded if you’re picked as a Tribute, which I find very appropriate in our celebrity-addicted times.  Also, Team Peeta.  Yep.

sorry not sorry.  katniss would kick bella swan’s ASS.

7. Pinkberry is officially open at Evergreen Walk in South Windsor.  Anybody want a few pairs of size 2 jeans? I will clearly never be needing them again.
8. Even if John Calipari’s Kentucky wins the Final Four, he’ll just have to get it vacated in a few years so it really doesn’t matter anyway.  ZING.
9. GAME OF THRONES.  I haven’t been able to read A Clash of Kings, the book season 2 of the series is based on, but I’m sure I’m going to love it regardless.  I am addicted to that book and that show, so I’m hoping it’s going to be as epic on screen as the first season was.  Plus, Peter Dinklage is a BAMF.  I’m going to a watch party tomorrow night and I hope there’s ale and turkey.  So much ale and turkey.

I think that’s about it.  Unless I go to the gym tomorrow and that guy insists on keeping FOX News turned on during the game.  Hell will rain down.

Go Blue.

ally

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