This is going to be a recurring theme on the blog…much more so than the video stuff. Now that I’m teaching a lot more, I realized that the LAST thing I want is for my students to see me flail and drop F-bombs on a video, and then expect them to take me seriously. Not going to happen. So they’ll come back, just later.
This recurring post style is going to be just a catchall of things I’m thinking about, or stuff that’s happening I wanted to share with you guys, or just things I really, really, really like to do. Or Internet Links. Or .gifs. So…here we go!
1. Okay. I am so on board with you all that the picture of my Dad slapping Kim Mulkey’s butt is all sorts of weird. There are many things my dad does that make me go:
Trust me, that picture was one of those things I wish I could scrub out of my mind with BLEACH.
But I read this article, and then just got pissed off. Quit PMSing. She let him slap her butt – and it was a very, very very nice butt – and he did, and everyone thought it was funny. Weird and totally not what I would want my nearly 60 year old Dad to do in front of AP cameras, but what can you do? Calm yo’ ass.
2. Everyone else was applauding Rand Paul’s filibustering prowess yesterday, and the fact that he did a filibuster the way you’re supposed to do it. I don’t agree with pretty much everything else this guy stands for but the drone thing I can get behind. I just kept wondering how the guy went to the bathroom or held in his pee that long. I know he got help from other people to do it, but still.
3. I’m currently trying out a style of yoga that’s always been intimidating to me: Astanga. I usually do Power Vinyasa Yoga which changes every single time and I enjoy that because it doesn’t get repetitive but there’s something about the yoking of mind/body/spirit in the practice of Astanga that interests me. There are six series of Astanga yoga and it’s where the Western conception of Power Vinyasa yoga such as Baptiste Power Yoga came from. Each series is fixed, and it’s brutal. The primary series alone is a pain in the ass. No. Literally. At one point you kind of have to jam your foot up your butt. Check it out here. That series alone takes two hours, and there are thousands of people who practice it every day. At some point you’re going to have to deal with me ranting about the different types of yoga over at the other blog, but that’s for another day. In the meantime, go YouTube Kino MacGregor (an Astanga yoga master who is currently working on the 4th series) and be amazed at what the human body can do. Holy hamstrings. It should be noted here that there are SEVERAL primary series poses I just cannot do due to the fact that I am not made of Stretch Armstrong glue. But the process intrigues me.
4. I cannot take you seriously if you don’t know how to walk in high heels. This only applies to those girls who buy ridiculously high heels for the sake of wanting to look fierce and then tripping all over themselves. If you don’t want to learn how to handle yourself in a stiletto, then invest in a smaller heel. It’s cooler to know your limitations and work with them rather than be something you’re not. I always wanted to have high heels because my legs were always the really good part of my body even when I was heavier, so when I was 17 I bought myself a pair of skyhigh Steve Madden pointed-toe pumps and forced myself to learn how to rock them. Today, I own a lot of heels and I know how to walk in all of them. (I also own flats. Because nothing says “unprofessional teacher” like tripping on the hem of your pants in your hooker shoes as you’re teaching Foucault to freshmen)
5. My Dad ordered a bunch of those BeachBody Shakeology shake packets a few years ago and fell in love with them, and then Shea became an ambassador for the company and asked if we wanted any. My brother and Mom decided to order…a lot. I am currently drowning in vegan Tropical Strawberry protein packs. I’ve had it for breakfast every single day this week and I don’t think I’m ever going to get sick of them. Which is good, because I have literally a thousand more of them. My fun breakfasts make up for the fact that at dinner I’m too tired to eat anything more complex than a veggie burger, sweet potato, and broccoli. I am all about the fancy shmance over here, clearly.
6. Unpopular opinion time: I regret cutting my hair as short as I did. Note: I do NOT regret chopping it in general, as the hair was a donation to a wig company that makes wigs for child cancer patients. The thirteen inches I originally donated were the right thing to do and I don’t regret it for a second. It was the next day, when I walked into the salon and asked them to give me a grown-out pixie and ended up looking like a shaved rat, that I completely regret. As well as being completely impossible to style I got the sense that people in my life hated it. Also…and again this an unpopular opinion but it’s honestly what I felt at the time…I just didn’t feel feminine with that cut. I felt strong and bold and kind of like an epic badass, but I didn’t feel like a woman. I recognize that there are people in this world that can feel that with short hair, but I just ended up feeling…weird. I feel like I actually cut it that length to prove a point; like a feminist backlash to the pretty long hair movement. But you know what? Not everything has to be a political statement, and I genuinely adored having long hair, and I’m working on getting it back. My hair is nearly to my shoulders again and I just feel a lot better about my look. It’s also not jet black anymore and is instead reddish-blonde, which makes me look more personable and less Vampira-like.
7. My nephew knows all of the words to “Wide Awake” by Katy Perry. It is damn impressive. He also learned the hard rule of life: don’t thrash to Mumford and Sons after eating a big bowl of pasta. Halfway through “I Will Wait” he stopped dead and said to my Mom, “What’s happening to my belly?” Ah, indigestion hits at such a young age.
8. I’m pretty sure I’m going to burn all of my jeans and other pants that are not leggings. Leggings are the best and you can dress them up or dress them down, and you don’t have to worry about them fitting after Chinese food.
9. I went to see Maroon 5 last weekend with a friend at Mohegan Sun. Our seats were so close I’m pretty sure I could see into Adam Levine’s tight white jeans. I think I blacked out.
10. I don’t know why I hadn’t been watching RuPaul’s Drag Race but I got introduced to it over the weekend and I.Am.OBSESSED. I just watch every episode like, “They design all of their clothes, and do their hair, and do their makeup, AND they’re witty?!”
I wish I put a 1/4th as much effort into how I look as these girls do. Damn with a side of dayum. I want to put glitter and makeup on everything in my normal life, and this show exacerbates that desire to the nth degree. I want to put that face in my walk. Good lord.
And Ru? Oh girl.
|RuPaul, I bow down to you. You are my guru.|
This is a weird entry. Lots of drag queens and butt slapping.