Today is my birthday. I am 28 years old.
To some of you, especially my readers who haven’t even broken through their four years of high school yet – gah – I am probably thisclose to applying for my AARP card. For others, I’m still a baby barely cutting their teeth.
I could go into a long stream of consciousness rant about my 27th year on earth and what to expect for my 28th, but really, I can’t. This year, for all intents and purposes, with a few pockets of light sprinkled into it, completely sucked. I was in a cavernous hole of depression for most of it, and the other part of it I was literally too busy to eat solid food. This has gotten better, but that’s a post for another time.
So without further ado, here are 28 thoughts for your Thursday.
1. I’m pretty positive that although I am one episode into the 3rd season of Breaking Bad, the cult-like behavior surrounding the show makes me dread continuing just on principle. I just hate EVERYONE on it, with the exception of Jesse. And Hank, sometimes. I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to close my laptop and avoid everybody I know this coming Sunday when the finale airs because good God, it’s getting annoying. The show is brilliant, I’ll just be glad it’s over.
2. On a similar note, I’m totally obsessed with New Girl. Oh, Schmidt and your hair chutney.
3. If you don’t watch DailyGrace on YouTube, why are we friends?
4. I haven’t run for a week and a half. I don’t like it.
5. My birthday is National Pancake Day. Obviously I made pancakes.
6. I wonder if Ted Cruz is still talking? Maybe if he develops edema in his legs he’ll need an Obamacare-funded medical procedure. Additionally, I hope he reads Hop on Pop as an indictment on gay marriage.
7. I’m watching Evil Dead – the 2013 remake – today for a project involving a paper proposal for a conference next year. I plan on livetweeting it. Have mercy.
8. My nephew started pre-K. I can’t even handle this. I want to yell ‘STOP GROWING OLDER’ every time I see him.
9. This is difficult.
10. One of the classes I teach is close to noon. I tend to wolf a salad down my throat right before I go in to teach but that’s making my stomach hurt during class. Anybody have suggestions?
11. I have a crush on Jason Mantzoukas. That is all.
12. The boyfriend and I are going to the Big E this weekend. As a gluten-free person, I’m worried this will consist of me watching him wolf down deep-fried things with abandon while I gnaw at a protein bar in my purse.
13. I cannot take SVU seriously after they got rid of Stabler. Yes, I know Benson has a much more complex backstory, and I should be appreciative of her presence as a complicated woman on prime time television who is not in her 20s and who is not a twig figure…but still. STABLER.
14. Why did I think this was a good idea?
15. I’m incorporating more difficult yoga classes into my life at the moment. My arms aren’t very happy with me.
16. I ended up dyeing my hair dark from a box. Like I told myself I would never do again. But on the plus side, it didn’t get so dark that it looks black and it’ll grow out rather nicely. So I win.
17. ESPN 30 for 30 comes back and they finally have a women-centric documentary and….it’s about Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan. I will not stop until they do a 35-0 documentary. It would be compelling with zero mention of Jeff Gillooly.
18. I purchased Revlon by Marchesa jeweled nail art strips, and they are doing what most nail strips do when you attach them on top of already-painted nails – they’re peeling like crazy and look terrible. Why did I buy these? Because I am easily hypnotized by glittery gold stuff.
19. I’m spending this Sunday carving pumpkins and watching shitty movies with my best friend while slurping down gallons of pho. It’s going to be wonderful and everything good.
20. My brother and I are nearly a week apart in birthdays. He turns 25 next week. I need to process that a bit.
21. On that note, a lot of my friends are turning 30 this year. I’m actually not too freaked out about turning 30; I hear the 30s are when the awkward shit starts to turn into the things that make you awesome.
22. watch this.
23. and this, too.
24. and this last.
25. I just got all pissed that Mumford & Sons are apparently on indefinite hiatus.
26. On the plus side, Lady GaGa’s new album drops in less than two months.
27. I have my 10 year high school reunion next weekend. I’m pretty sure I’m either going to have a blast or spend the entire night worried. A friend of mine from high school and I had a major falling out a few years ago and although I’d like to resolve it, I’m not sure if she is because we haven’t spoken since. If you’re reading this, I’m ready and willing to talk.
28. I have a special anniversary coming up. More on that in a few weeks.
In summary –
I’m in a good place right now. 27 wasn’t exactly what I wanted it to be. But I’m ready and willing to make 28 everything it should be.
Here’s to birthdays.