Yesterday was my fifth anniversary of word vomiting all over you on this corner of the Internet. You’re welcome for that visual.
So, five years ago, I was 23 years old, sort of single, an aspiring actress getting ready to move to NYC, sitting on my butt on my parent’s couch, and I decided I wanted to start a blog about my dad’s team and the postseason lifestyle that we’ve come to consider normal when it’s really anything but. I figured I was about to become super busy and famous when I moved to New York so it would be the last time I would have the time to travel with the team in any major capacity. So I opened up Blogger, bullshitted a few lines, and pressed publish. Then, I told The Boneyard about it.
And now we’re here. In the past five years I’ve moved to NYC, had a ton of adventures, moved right back home, had a horrible year or so, dated a few huge douchebags with a couple good guys in there that just weren’t right, started and finished a Masters program, applied to PhD programs, became a teacher and an aunt, finally found a guy that my Nonna approves of, and own my very own property. With help from my mother but whatever.
It’s been an absolutely insane ride and I want to thank all of you – the 250 people who follow my blog on Blogger, the people who Liked my page on Facebook, and all 1,711 of you crazy bastards who follow my insane rants and live-tweeting of major pop cultural events on Twitter (I MISS YOU, I’ll be back in four weeks!). You guys make me think I’m funny. Which is a new thing for me.
So in honor of this milestone, I’m going to do the “50 Things About Me” tag that I’ve seen floating around. This is going to be a really random list of stuff that you probably already knew, but whatever. Here’s to a few more years of this ridiculousness!
1. You name the clothing item, I have it in sequins. Except for underwear. That would be really itchy.
2. I have a permanently damaged coccyx (that’s your tailbone, for all of you tittering pervs) from falling down a flight of concrete stairs. It was during a dress rehearsal of a musical I was performing in; while running to the green room for a costume change my character shoe broke and I went flying. I was wearing a very thin costume so it felt like my ass was slamming into a concrete corner. I felt my entire body go hot, which made me think I broke my tailbone because I’d heard that when you broke a bone you’ll get warm, and I immediately started crying. I spent the rest of the dress rehearsal laying down in the audience with an ice pack on my ass, and because the show was in Torrington I had to drive an hour home and made my mom practically carry me into bed. I had to sit on a pillow when I drove my car for two weeks. Now, if I sit in a leaned-back position for too long, standing up sends a shooting pain down my butt.
3. I hate peas, unless they are in a dish with a lot of other components like rice or something. If they’re just laying there on a plate I won’t eat it. If there’s a dish at a restaurant that comes with a side of peas I won’t order it.
4. I drink a Powerade or a Vitamin Water every single day because of the electrolytes.
5. I successfully signed up for AccessHealthCT’s version of Obamacare last week. It’s probably the best thing I’ve done for myself in a long time. Go get your beautiful butts covered.
6. My favorite movies when I was a kid were A League of Their Own, The Sandlot, Now and Then, and Little Giants.
7. My favorite New Kid on the Block is Joey. My favorite NSYNC-er is JC. My favorite Spice Girl is Posh. And I don’t have a favorite member of the Backstreet Boys because screw those guys. NSYNC was my 90s boy band.
8. Lately I’ve been coming around to the flavor of Jif peanut butter, but I’m definitely still a Skippy girl.
9. I still have yet to see the entirety of the original Star Wars trilogy. I’ve seen bits and pieces of it on TV and randomly in my 7th grade science class, but that’s about it. My boyfriend is promising me that one day this summer we will watch the whole trilogy, probably on a day when it’s too hot to do anything but hug the air conditioner.
10. I dye my hair from a box. It drives my mom insane, but I look at it from a realistic standpoint – right now, I would rather buy a $5 box of hair dye, mess it up, and correct it with another $5 box of hair dye, rather than get it dyed by a salon for $90, and run the risk of blowing that money on a bad job. I’ve been doing this for two years and have yet to go bald, so bear with me. Right now my hair is the closest it’s been to my natural color in a long time, which is why I’m probably dyeing it red soon.
11. I’m very knock-kneed, and no amount of yoga is ever going to correct it.
12. My posture sucks, and no amount of yoga is ever going to correct it.
13. When I was a kid all I wanted was to get boobs when I hit puberty. I got an ass instead. You win some, you lose some.
14. The first boy to make me feel feelings was Devon Sawa. I pretty much wore out my tapes of Now and Then and Little Giants.
15. I was terrified of sleeping at my Nonna’s house as a kid because she had this giant picture of da Vinci’s Last Supper on her wall, and if you slept facing it, it was like Jesus was staring straight into your soul. It creeped me the hell out. That, and if you slept in a different room at Nonna’s there was a GIANT rosary hanging over the bed.
16. Contrary to public opinion – and by ‘public opinion’ I mean ‘things Dad has said about me’ – I was a pretty good basketball player. I did rec teams, AAU, travel teams (the now-defunct Silk City team in the Connecticut Girls Basketball League) and I played all through middle school. In my rec teams I averaged about 10 points per game and I think my career high was 18. I loved me some three-pointers. The last time I played competitively was during college on an intramural team with some of my buddies (Deuces Wild!) and I got my ass kicked.
17. I played softball for one year in eighth grade and I’m pretty sure it was because I watched A League of Their Own way, way too much as a kid and wanted to be a Rockford Peach.
18. I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder when I was 10 years old. My ADD manifests itself in procrastination, mild to severe anxiety, and a tendency to over-load myself with tasks.
19. I am in love with Tom Hanks. Like, if I met him I would instantly vomit.
20. I wouldn’t call myself highly religious – I was baptized and confirmed and I am a godmother to one of my nephews but have severe issues with the way the Catholic Church conducts their business. That being said, I do think there is something out there, or an energy in the universe, that is shifting all of us towards the positive. I have to believe that we are here for a reason, otherwise I don’t really know what I would do with myself.
21. In high school and about four months into college I drank half a liter of Diet Coke every single day. On some days, that was my breakfast. Then I tried to quit cold turkey. NEVER DO THIS. I thought I was going to have an aneurysm.
22. If The Mother ends up dying on the final episode of How I Met Your Mother I will literally throw my TV out of a window.
23. I have yet to watch Scandal, House of Cards, Orange is the New Black, or Girls. On that note…
24. I don’t get Seinfeld. I just don’t get it. Or The Simpsons.
25. I have at least five VHS tapes of recorded SNL episodes from 2001 to 2003. I was obsessed with Jimmy Fallon. Still am.
26. I have a back porch on my condo that I can never use, because there are several male feral cats in my complex and they like to hang out on that porch and scream at each other. It’s a great alarm in the morning.
27. I prefer iced coffee over hot coffee.
28. I still do Tae-Bo.
29. My favorite food is French fries.
30. I love YouTubers. My favorites are Grace Helbig (It’sGrace), Mamrie Hart (YouDeserveADrink) and Hannah Hart (My Drunk Kitchen, MyHarto). They are just so damn funny.
31. When I was in high school my group of friends decided to figure out which members of South Park we all were. I got Butters Stotch. I look at that as a compliment. Butters is a damn tool but he’s adorable.
32. Still haven’t read Twilight. I may have to eventually in order to just understand the compulsive nature of it. But it will be a begrudging read.
33. I honestly feel like most Hollywood marriages end in divorce because actors are fucking crazy.
34. For my 21st birthday I went to Husky’s on the UConn campus, which is a cross between a bar and a club. I had two martinis with gummy bear garnishes – because I am such a damn girl – and then my friend Gina told the bartender to make me a Grateful Dead. I just looked up the ingredients for the first time: Gin, light rum, white tequila, Triple Sec, vodka, sour mix, and raspberry syrup. WOOF.
35. I hated red wine until I was 23 years old, when I moved to New York and started going to dinner parties thrown by my friend from high school. Her only rule was that you brought a bottle of red wine, so I quickly got accustomed to the taste.
36. I have smoked cigarettes exactly twice. Don’t do it. It’s stupid.
37. I have costochondritis, which is chronic inflammation of the ligaments that connect to your rib cage. It gets exacerbated by changes in air temperature (so, going from warm house to cold weather, or from hot summer weather to a house with lots of AC blasting) and when that happens, my rib cage tries to heal itself by refusing to expand when I breathe. That means sometimes I get short of breath easily just from my ribs being sore.
38. I try to set aside one day a week to clean my house, otherwise I feel like I’m living in filth.
39. I collect Disney DVDs. Because I am an adult.
40. My favorite hobbit is Pippin.
41. My favorite books as a kid were the Nancy Drew, Anastasia Krupnik, and Ramona Quimby books. I was also obsessed with Anne Shirley.
42. Junior year of high school I told my drama teacher that I was auditioning for the role of Rosie in Bye Bye Birdie, which was at the time my #1 dream role in musical theater. Her response? I should audition for the role of Mama Petersen (normally played by a slightly more hefty woman) because “girls like you aren’t built for the leading lady parts.” That just pissed me off. I went into the audition, kicked the shit out of it, and got the part of my dreams.
43. The first movie I saw in a movie theater was Beauty and the Beast.
44. I write inspirational messages on my wrists before stressful days so that I can look down at them and find some grounding comfort in the message.
45. When I was in high school I was in a musical production at an all-boys school near mine and developed a borderline psychotic crush on the guy playing the lead, to the point that I literally couldn’t look at him without giggling. I remember one time he was trying to hit people up for gum and when I told him I had some he gave me a huge hug, and I’m pretty sure I peed a little. If you’re wondering why I’m disclosing this sensitive information about my childhood crush, it was completely goddamn obvious to everyone in the cast that I was in love with him because every time I had to speak to him I turned purple, so this isn’t shocking information!
46. I prefer going to movies by myself, because I like to form my own opinions about the film in order to consider it in critical context.
47. My favorite kind of dog is a Welsh Corgi, and I want one so bad it hurts.
48. The boyfriend and I don’t really have “a song” like most couples do – we feel a lot of that stuff can be kind of dumb and not indicative of a true relationship if you’re putting tons of labels on things. But if we did, it would be “Madness” by Muse.
49. I had mono about 7 years ago and it ended up putting me in the hospital because I developed peritonsillar cellulitis, a tonsil infection that can result in an abscess. I’m pretty sure I also had tonsillitis because according to the doctor that treated me, it is incredibly rare for PC to develop in people with mono. I felt very special.
50. I fully believe leggings are pants.