Hey, all of you gorgeous crazy people.
So first things first – today is my birthday. I’m 29. Yeesh.
I’m the youngest of my friend group by a wide mileage. Most of my friends in school had their birthdays in the summer, so I was always the youngest kid in the class. It makes sense because my mom always refers to me as a “new soul.” It also explains how for most of my childhood I felt like I was always tagging along after the bigger kids.
I’m not the type of person to have a big event on my birthday and for every subsequent day for the next week; the boyfriend told me it was “birthday girl’s choice” for dinner tonight and the only thing that came out of my mouth was “Uh, *insert place my parents always go*, I guess?” I hadn’t thought about it at all.
Truth be told, I’m glad the 28th year of my life is in the history books. It was a shitty, shitty year for reasons I’ve expounded upon at length in this blog space and for reasons I’ve kept private. I’ve dealt with a lot of my demons this year, which I guess means it was all for a good reason. It taught me a lot about resiliency and growth and my own capacity to either realize my potential or dig myself a huge hole. It was the year I got help for my chronic generalized anxiety, and I’ve been working my way through my shit ever since. It was the year that saw me get diagnosed with a benign arrhythmia, and the medication I was put on has not only allowed me to reestablish myself as an athletic and active person, but it has also had a tremendous positive impact on my daily life by blocking the adrenaline that caused so many anxious and panicked years.
This year, two people who have majorly impacted my life in various ways were lost, and both of their lives taught and teach me to live mine in a better, more focused way.
I learned who my true friends are this year, from the girls who made sure I laughed on my worst nights, to calling me and forcing me out of the house to dinner, to texting me and letting me know they were thinking about me, to asking me to be in their weddings. In my 29th year, I hope to start whittling down my group to the bare essentials. The friends that keep me honest and grounded but also fill me with light.
I’m really thrilled to have found peace in the months leading up to my 29th year. I have a lot to do this year. Better get started.